Binaural Bluetooth headphone or headset, anyone?

OK, am I the only person in the world who wants a Bluetooth stereo headset I can use for phone calls and music listening? Or a simple wired headset with a 2.5mm jack (they were common as pennies two years ago). My current one doesn’t have a mute button.

I searched for six damn hours over the course of two days. Besides Google, my search included two extended field trips. The result: Plantronics Pulsar 590A, available for about three years but apparently no one else has a fielded a similar device. It was priced at $249 on the Plantronics site but I paid $112.24 at Amazon. It is a stereo bluetooth headset and headphone (includes both profiles) that comes with a "universal adapter" (Bluetooth transmitter with a 3.5mm jack). I'm going to attempt to use it with both my desk phone (with a 3.5mm to 2.5mm adapter) and my Blackberry Curve 8330. If it won't pair with the BB, I can always use that universal adapter (the BB has a 3.5mm receptacle).

But the real question is, why isn't there a bunch of similar products on the market? Or if there are, why can’t I find them? I’m pretty good with a Google search.

Best story of all: At Best Buy I had a salesman point me toward a standing display of "Bluetooth" wired headsets. I kid you not. He even put air quotes around the word "Bluetooth" when he told me that you know, these are “Bluetooth,” too, they are just wired. Bluetooth doesn't mean wireless, he told me. I swear.

I had to leave immediately. I don't know what Bluetooth meant to him, and I couldn’t ask. I had to leave immediately because I could feel an entire lecture cum angry rant bubbling up inside me, fighting to get to the surface. Any retail sales guy who could look me in the eye and tell me these wired headsets are Bluetooth ... well. ... he was beyond help.

Here's the weirdest thing from the experience: the 2.5mm jack headsets that were common as pennies two years ago have all but disappeared. Best Buy had none. The first Radioshack I went to had one. And the second (bigger) Radioshack had two or three; but none that covered both ears. Since I tried out Skype last week with a binaural USB headset I don’t want to go back to one-ear headsets; but I can’t use Skype all the time because unless it’s my laptop or my cable provider messing with the traffic, the sound quality was not dependable.

Oh, in terms of full disclosure, I did find one other device that would suit my needs: The Oticon Epoq. It cost $9,000 configured with Bluetooth capability. :)

Of course, the Plantronics 590A has a big fat form factor, so if you want an ultra-lightweight device go with the Epoq for $8,887.76 more. I wasn't worried about the form factor because I was primarily looking for something to use in my home office. But because the Epoq is primarily a hearing aid, it essentially disappears into both ears. It is simultaneously an infinitely adjustable binaural hearing aid and a Bluetooth headset. It popped up first when I searched "binaural Bluetooth headset."

Actually, I could carry my Plantronics around, though. I never go anywhere without my backpack, which doubles as a giant purse.

The other interesting thing I learned from this research is that you can buy every adapter imaginable except for a USB-to-2.5 mm adapter that would let me use my USB headset with my desk phone. One guy made his own, but it looked like so much trouble that I didn't bother to write to him and ask him to make me one. See a picture of it here, along with the explanation for how to make it. (Again, for full disclosure, there does seem to be a discontinued Motorola adapter you can buy for 60 cents at Amazon, but the reviewers said it added buzzing that rendered it useless. That and the discontinued thing suggested to me I should go another route.)